Making Grown-ups

It’s a play on “making babies” but instead of making tiny, new humans, this is a blog about taking disgusting, tired, stressed out adults and making them more relaxed and functional as people. It’s a goal, anyway.

Ultimately, Making Grown-ups is based on the premise that everyone has room to grow. Where ever you are on your journey, whether you’re just starting out, or you’ve been doing this whole adult thing for a while, I hope this website gives you some ideas or techniques for making your life a little bit easier or more fun. My altruistic goal in keeping this blog is to help make you a better person. You can choose to share a link to this blog, or horde it for yourself to keep the advantage in life. It’s up to you entirely.

What’s it all about?

I created this site as a way to help others find practical, efficient, and simple solutions for daily life, with a focus on cooking. Nobody is perfect, and I’m not gonna teach you how to be the next Martha Stewart (Goop’s already trying to fill that niche), but I think I might be able to make your life a little bit easier and less stressful, and I think that’s a way better aspiration than “perfect.”

What kind of weird pantry-hating blogger are you?

I’m a workaholic (that’s right, I don’t have time to stage photos of Pinterest craft bullshit that everyone will pin but never actually use) who refuses to accept that my life has to be a constant stream of arbitrary chaos.

The methods I had for adulting were not good enough, so I decided to figure out how to streamline basic tasks that otherwise suck and make me cranky. Tasks like cooking food that doesn’t come out of a box, but also tastes good and won’t make me gain twenty-five pounds. Again.

Oh yeah, that’s right, this blog is also about HEALTHY eating that may help you with your weight loss goals, too. Except all the food I make tastes goddamned delicious, (and I’m not saying that because I have butter withdrawal Stockholm syndrome. I’m saying that because I eat butter. … Not like, by itself, though. I mean, sometimes… Look, the point is I make good food, OK) and you’re gonna fucking like it unless you’re one of those recipe reviewers who decides to substitute everything until the original recipe is completely unrecognizable and marginally better than eating turds. If that’s the case, you’re on your own, and I’ll mock you if you comment to that effect.

Are you always this hostile?

It’s part of my USP (unique selling proposition). I don’t think there’s an aggressive, borderline homicidal food and lifestyle blogger out there as genuinely helpful and great as I am. They’re all incessantly chipper and perfect. I am not. And I don’t expect you to be. I mean, I expect a certain level of decorum from you. Like pants, for instance. But as a general rule, no, none of this superficial bullshit on my blog. I MIGHT make an effort to stage a photo of dinner during daylight, but that’s only if I feel like it and am really hungry earlier in the day. I can’t be fussed to get lighting equipment to simulate daylight.

Are you a doctor / dietician / nutritionist?

I am not any of those things, which means that you should absolutely consult with a doctor or a registered dietician, (note I am pointedly not advocating that you see a nutritionist), before embarking on a lifestyle change. My blog is for entertainment purposes and to help the average adult with some tips and methods I have found useful in my personal life. It is not intended as medical advice or even advice in general, really, if I’m being honest.

You mention products fairly often in your blog – are you being paid to promote them?

Not yet, but god willing, one day I will be. In all seriousness, unless there is a clearly stated disclaimer above and below the post disclosing that the post is being sponsored by a particular company or product, I am not being compensated in anyway. I just genuinely like that particular thing. Your mileage may vary.

Icons & Graphics used on the site

Icons made by Freepik from www.flaticon.com is licensed by CC 3.0 BY

Pattern from Subtle Patterns.

What’s all this about?

Have you ever stressed about how to get - and keep - your bathroom clean without spending hours scrubbing each week? Does the phrase "meal planning" make you fall into the fetal position while clutching a takeout menu? Do you think Pinterest is made up of insane sadistic people who have too much time and craft glue? Do you want to learn how to cook, but don't know where to start? Are you trying to lose weight, but find "guilt free brownies" a disgusting and sad waste of perfectly good chocolate?

I've spent years of my life, years figuring this shit out, and in an effort to earn fame and fabulous fortune, I'm giving you lots of tips and ideas and funny commentary out of the kindness and goodness of my heart. So y'all fucking come back now, hear?

Read More